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Showing posts from September, 2015

Sallah Skit

I had a main chic and many side chics, yes "many side chics", wait! don't judge me just yet except you've never stolen meat from your Mother's pot before. Ladies always kept on coming even though they knew I had a girlfriend (call me a baller, call me a player, if two can play the game, then we're gonn' do multiplayer). Anyway as I was narrating, among the "many side chics" were my beloved muslimahs- Yetunde (Aminat), Bisi (Zainab) & Lara (Karimat). The three of them had promised me the best sallah treatment ever, whatever "best sallah treatment" meant I was so eager to find out. This was the plan, sallah was on thursday, my main girlfriend said she was sleeping over on tuesday, then I would sleep over at hers on wednesday, by first light on thursday I would be back at my crib, preparing for the groove on thursday & friday, thursday afternoon would be for Bisi, we would go to her family house together, pack as much meat as poss…

Village Vacation. (The Preparation)

I missed my folks in the village, Tolu said I could go away for a week, and a week was just perfect. I set to planning my trip, first I needed to buy stuff, basically, gifts for my folks. I had been to balogun market twice with Tolu and Ada, this time I decided I was going alone.       "Papi you well so? Only you wan go balogun?" Ekaette asked.       "Yes na" I replied       "Papi, I'll take you there myself" Tolu added.       "Nooo, I can find my way, nothing will happen" I said.       "You're on your own ooo" Tolu said       "Trust me" I added with a wink.       "Wait, let me snap you" Tolu. I didnt know why she wanted to snap me, but I posed. I got to the market alright, I kept moving from stall to stall, looking for the best bargain, just the way the ladies did. I bought a set of boxes, the seller said it was 40K because it was "gucci", I beat the price to 25k, he agreed. I felt like a …