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Showing posts from February, 2015

Papi goes to church

For fans of "The Boondocks", you know how Grandpa Freeman sings about "new shoes" or "soul plane"- yeah you garrit, that was how I woke up singing "Tuesday", as usual, I did everything I was supposed to do, had a bath, dressed, then went to the kitchen for breakfast, I was about to open the door when I heard Tolu & Ekaette gisting, for some strange "ameboish" (Ameboish is an english word, argue here \___/ ) reason, I stood & was listening.
      "Tolu, between yesterday evening & now, you've been sweeter than usual" Ekaette said.
      "Hehehehe, na God ooo" Tolu replied
      "Ahn ahn, talk true joo"
      "True joo" Tolu laughed
      "And I wanted to do a red velvet for you, I change my mind" Ekaette teased.
Wait!!! Red velvet? Was Ekaette a tailor too? I continued eavesdropping.
       "Red... Wait, you're kidding me abi?" Tolu asked
       "No, se…

Papi In The Bank.

Lagos is a very wonderful place with wonderful people, even the mad people are wonderful, so wonderful that they live like normal people, please tell me how and why a normal human being will buy 1 pure water (y'all remember Odunlade Adekola in Opa Kan- "pure water 5 naira, 5 naira"- emphasis on 5 naira) and present a five hundred naira note. Anyway today's not for talking about the mad peoples of Lagos, that's an exclusive for another time.
Tolu's birthday ended on a happy note, I slept better than a baby & if you think I saw Adaeze in my dream, then you need to have a rethink because I didn't even dream. Monday morning came, I woke then stayed in bed a while, thinking about my experience the previous day, the lift, escalator, big screen, hot dog, Adaeze, Adaeze's kiss on my cheek- I smiled, that was sweet, tuesday which was the next day felt like a year away, I just couldn't wait to see Adaeze my crush. My mind went back to the hotdog, the th…

Papi

And so it was, that Ekaette showed me a whole new world, a whole new world of se---- nevermind, I actually intended to say "a whole new world of sensible stuff" for some of you with pervy minds. Well, she taught me a lot of stuff, and I was a fast learner- do the maths or biology- whatever!. If at this point you still think I'll go into details of how we got down, "na to give you stool + shaving stick/black hair dye, 'cause you go old there". Ekaette was a wonderful female human specie, scratch that "wonderful", she was "OneDearFull", we just clicked and became beneficial friends without attached strings (hey, I know many of you have seen the movies "Friends With Benefits" & "No Strings Attached") *Unlooking*, then came Madam's Niece and I did what I was instructed to do, and that was to assist her at the supermarket, so everyday I got to the supermarket before her & left after her. We never really talked-…

Valentine's Day Skit

This is a true life story that may have happened or hasn't happened yet, but can, will & may happen one day to one dude out there, you really want to question how it is a true life story and it hasn't happened yet? No you don't.
I met Vyonne (See, we fought over this name very much when I called her Yvonne instead of Vyonne, so please comply too) on one of these online social platforms, twitter precisely, we were just followers, guys, you know how it feels when a female with a pretty avi tells you "hi dear, kindly follow back", then you're grinning from ear to ear and already strategizing how to "catch the fish" and after countless number of unretweeted/unreplied mentions & DMs (Direct Messages), you just give up. One day, one thing leads to another and you see her flying into your DM. Such was the case of Vyonne, I cannot remember what, all I remember is I got a twitter DM notification, opened it and voila, Vyonne had landed in my DM, I fe…

50 Shades Of Papi

Okay, here we are again, I've been getting calls from the professional amebos, tatafos, ekes to drop the gist Papi had with Ekaette, after much pondering and careful consideration, I and the council of elders have decided, well, let's just forget what the gist was about, seeing as some things said are better left not talked about, I'll rather not relay our private convo to you all. Please return to what you were doing, thank you for your time. -lmao- una too like tatafo. Just so I can sleep well without the witches amongst you coming to disturb me in my sleep, I'll just give you excerpts.
A quick bath, then I made for the kitchen, the only thing on my mind was food, and Ekaette sure knew how to make her way to a man's heart through his belly.
      "Ahn ahn, Papi, you sure say you baff so abi na rub & shine you do?" Ekaette asked
      "Hahaha, but I no fall inside soakaway, why I go tey inside bafroom" I replied, then she laughed, there wa…